Introvert, Deep Thinking, It's a curse

I was reading an article yesterday on introverts.  It made perfect sense.  No wonder I can remember what flavor Popsicle I ate when I was three years old sitting on Nanny's porch, but can't remember where I put my purse five minutes ago.  Introverts have a strong long term memory. By the way, I think the Popsicle was one I bought off the ice cream truck Belzoni had one summer.  I don't think it lasted long.  I always wanted to own an ice cream truck and a movie theatre.  Two things that make people happy.   I hate being an introvert at times.  It is such a curse to be an overthinker.  You are cruising through facebook and see an innocent post by someone and it takes you back to something, you thought you had put behind you.  Then, all this anger just seethes in your soul.  Obviously, I haven't let that one go and obviously, that coach wasn't sorry at all.  What do we do with this?  Well, last night, I put on my ipod and listened to music to flood my brain with something else other than stupid thoughts.  It's the devil.  He intends to distract us from what is important.  The article also said that introverts are sensitive people.  Go figure.  I could've told you that.   I guess yesterday when I saw what I did, I thought I had put all this behind me and then I realized this coach never was sorry for what she did to my daughter, totally excluding her from an award, after she started her all year, after my daughter played her heart out with a bummed knee.  This child struggled the entire season with her grandfather, who is probably more like a best friend , being diagnosed with cancer.  He had made every ballgame my kids ever played and for the first time, he was unable to make many games.  It hurt to not see him in the stands.  I have said and I will say it again, until you have someone close to you as in a family member, best friend, etc. diagnosed with cancer, you don't get it.  Yes, you sympathize, you really do.  But, until it hits close to home, it's just not the same.  It's the same with everything else - having a loved one with Alzheimer's, losing a child, a spouse, etc.  But, I digress......  I had to stop last night and ask my husband, "Do you think she didn't like our daughter?"  You just scratch your head sometimes.   I saw something recently about how we are raising a generation of kids who get awards for everything.  The headmaster told me earlier this year that we tell our kids to play like a team then we hand out awards for only a few.  It is backwards.  Then, the other side of the coin is we shouldn't give awards to all because then we raise kids to expect to be awarded for everything they do.  I am a person of faith.  I believe God had a purpose in this.  I can't see it yet.  I'm proud of the young girl who was awarded in this situation.  She is a sweet, deserving child.  She played her heart out, too.   I just wonder in a situation where there were two seniors, how you pick one,and then award all the underclassmen. Writing is cathartic for me.  It is a means to get my emotions out.  There have been some things that have taken place this past year  and last year that I do not understand.  A person in power told me after some girls died in a wreck that this is what was important , well... I think his exact words were something like "what is important is life and praying for those parents who are at home right now grieving the loss of their daughters.  Winning is not always important."  Why do I pay attention to every spoken word sometimes?  My A.D.D. should really kick in when I need it to.  These words were spoken to me at a basketball game when we were talking about fussing about referees and then less than a week later a coach was let go in the middle of the school year by the same person who spoke those words to me about what was important!  That left me wondering about the words spoken to me.  Were they for show?  Were they forgotten?  Now, I sit here as this coach has now recently died and wonder, was it worth it?  I taught school for 5 years and I can tell you that I still think about some of the dumb decisions I made.  The main one involved a Last Will and Testament I handed over to a headmaster which was read at a Prom.  I didn't write it, but I could have struck some things out of it.  I still think of this to this day.  I love the young girl, now a young woman who was harmed in the reading of that Will.  To this day, when I see her mother and her, I think, I'm so sorry.    I know this is the introvert in me or is it the Christian in me?  To ponder and be sorry for the dumb things I've done?  I truly believe though some people do not care.  They move throughout their days, making decisions, not giving a thought to who they harm.  Or, is it the overthinker in me to not let things go?????? My best friends say, "Don't build a snowman, let it go!!!!!!!!!!"