Separate Losses - Losing Daddy

According to Griefshare, each major loss must be journaled separately. I had just accepted the loss of my daddy when I lost Brookie. I was finally finding peace in that he was gone and in heaven with those he loved and with Jesus. Daddy was a soft spoken man who always tried to be kind. He always said, "there's was enough ugly in the world without him having to be ugly, too." He, like Brookie, had a dry sense of humor and always had us laughing. My earliest memory of daddy is of him fixing my hair before preschool with the curling iron. He would roll my ends under perfectly, but then tell me to not dare tell anyone that my daddy had fixed my hair. Also, I remember when I was very young begging to sleep in my brother's tent in the backyard only to be carried inside by daddy after I'd fallen asleep. I never really caught on that I didn't wake up the next morning in the tent. Mama reminded me of this many years later and laughed because she said I never questioned waking up in my own bed the next morning. Daddy carried me through so many trials in life. When I was diagnosed with depression right before he was diagnosed with cancer, he told me he just didn't understand why I was so sad. But, he was there for me. His cancer gave me something to do. I took care of him and prayed and believed like a Pollyanna that my daddy would be healed. Right up until he went on hospice, I really believed God would heal his cancer on earth. He was healed, but not in the way I wanted. God healed him completely. I honestly thought when I lost him that there was no way I could go on without him. I was wrong, of course. I made it through my grief. I will always miss him. I have so many happy memories with him, but I can truly say that I am at peace with his passing. He is whole and in heaven with Jesus. I know he is with me and has been with me through all the trials I've faced this past year. I think one of the best things in the world is having a parent that was so great that you miss them so much. So many people are not afforded the same blessing. I'm sure I'll share many memories of daddy along the way, but as for now the fact that he is no longer suffering,is probably fishing in a big river in the sky then coming "home" to one of Grandma's home cooked meals brings me so much peace.