I have been sneezing my head off since I woke up this morning. Ever since I was a child, I have suffered from the worst allergies ever. I am allergic to every grass, tree, pollen, animal, and I think I may be allergic to some people, but they haven't developed that test yet, so.......... Yesterday, I was completely normal (o.k. please do not argue with me on that one)......... not sneezing or anything. I worked the baseball concession stand in the freezing cold (did bring my handy dandy heater though). Then, I went to the Depot Theatre and sat behind the musty, dust infested curtain and attempted to work the lights and sound. I digress here.......... I am in mourning over my Bose music system...... it bit the dust last night at play practice. I took it to my daddy today who is an electrician and described what happened. He checked it and seems to think it is fried. I guess my goldfish are now swimming to wonderful music in that big goldfish pond in the sky. They have a perfect sound system that sounds like an entire orchestra. I just know it.......... O.k.......... yes, I am losing my mind here. Anyway........... I guess a combination of the weather change (anyone notice the warmer weather today?) and the dusty, mildewy Depot have sent me into a complete, constant allergy attack. I hate feeling like this. I have by far the worst allergies. I think I already said this, but I want you to feel sorry for me, so............. I repeat............ I have the worst allergies ever!!!!!!!!!! I suffered from eczema as a child. I actually received a lot of ridicule for this when I was growing up. I was always self conscious about the rashes that would break out on my arms, neck, and face. Now, I have outgrown the worst of it. Praise God! Now on to why I need the nerve pill............. Does anyone out there in blogland have advice for how to handle rearing boys? I am so discouraged right now as a parent. I am raising (yes, I know it should be rearing, but I like raising) one of the most stubborn, hardheaded boys in the entire universe. He is an extremely bright child. I am not saying this because I am his mother (ok, maybe I am). Ever since he was in kindergarten, his achievement tests have been above average and his teachers every year say that he is smart. But, there is a slight problem. He does not care one iota about school. I have fussed, spanked, grounded, fussed some more, spanked some more.......... until I am blue in the face. I seriously look like a blueberry. What am I supposed to do? Tonight, I told him that if he does not do what he is supposed to do again, I will not let him play baseball this summer. And, I do not know if I should have said that either (because I love some baseball). Tonight on the way home, this song came on the radio........... after it was over Savell said, "Mama, I think God is trying to speak to you about Dwayne." I just have to share this......... I know you are probably bored by now......... Dwayne was 3 weeks early (which is not premature by any means). In the first month of his life, he developed breathing problems from reflux. The doctors said that the reflux was so painful that it was causing him to breathe hard. Around the age of 3, he was diagnosed with asthma. In fact, we almost lost him the day after Halloween 2003. He was in complete respiratory distress in the Greenwood Hospital. It was by far the most frightening event as a parent that I have ever experienced. Believe me, watching your child gasp for air is not fun. So here is the song.......... Maybe God was speaking a word over me........
Wait and See by Brandon Heath and video link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr81lb3VUWk
I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity
doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I’ve been troubled since the day that I got here,
trouble to the day that I disappear
That’ll be the day that I finally get it right
There is hope for me yet because God won’t forget,
all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet.
He’s not finished with me yet
I never really was that good in school.
I talked too much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool all right.
I don’t know how but I made it through,
it’s one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.
There is hope, for me yet,
because God won’t forget,
all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see,
he’s not finished with me yet,
he’s not finished with me yet
Still wonderin’ why I’m here.
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh….He’s up to something,
And the farther out I go,
I’ve seen enough to know that I’m not here for nothin’
He’s up to somethin
’So *now's* my time to be a man,
follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin’ where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems,
but singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight
There is hope, for me yet
because God won’t forget all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet,
he’s not finished with me yet
He’s not finished with me yet,
He’s not finished with me yet
I have to believe that God has a bigger plan for Dwayne than I can see. Please pray for my times of discouragement.
I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend as we celebrate Jesus conquering death and sin for us. He is Risen........ yes, He is Risen, Indeed!
I started this blog so many years ago as just a place to bring my carefree thoughts. Now, it has become a place for me to journal about my journey of grief.
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Depression - a hard fought battle
This is a post that I have started for several years now and abandoned it time and time again. I'm scared of opening up too much about ...
Spank him some more. The boy will get right.
ReplyDeleteI truly empathize with you. I have two sons. They are both men of God now, but it was not easy when they were teens. They had their own minds, thought they knew what was right for them. You are likely doing a much better job that you realize. Hang in there! Kids go through so much these days with the condition this world is in. They have to have a lot of structure. The Christian values you teach them are seeds God is planting in their hearts. And His word does not return void.
ReplyDeleteSo, I don't have any real advice, but just keep showing him love and teaching him the word of God. Also, continue to keep a firm hand on his life. He has to have it because he does not yet have the maturity to make his own decisions. Yet, you, as his mother, do know what he needs.
Many blessings & prayers to you today.
Andrea